


Never Meant to Be

by i_write_shakespeare_not_disney



Series: Angsty/Fluffy/Smutty Klance One Shots from Tumblr [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Lance is married, M/M, Minor hidge, One Night Stands, One Shot, but yeah, not detailed, very slight smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-03-07 11:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13433634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney/pseuds/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney
Summary: Lance is married, but after reuniting with his friends, old feelings resurface and he decides to act on them. Regret is not the same as guilt.





	1. Chapter 1

The day the invitation came in the mail, the sky had been gray, and water had darkened the sidewalk from a light gray to nearly black. There was no sender, just Lance’s name in elegant font, the ink smeared by water that made its way into the mailbox.

That night, when his wife came home, he showed her the eggshell colored cardstock, his friends’ names elegantly printed, complimenting each other’s.

“ _Mira, amor._ They’re my friends, the ones I told you about.” She’d smiled, but it hadn’t reached her eyes. It happened often, her attempts to seem excited for things that brought Lance joy, but looking like she had more important things on her mind. “It’s in two months. In California.”

She scrunched her nose. “That’s all the way across the country,” she pointed out.

“We could go for a weekend. If I get the tickets now, they’ll be cheaper. We haven’t used the credit card.” She sighed, giving Lance a look he recognized too well. That look of tired superiority as though she were a parent having to deal with a child. “Maricela, it’s a wedding. I can’t miss that.”

She pulled her hair up with a clip and finally relented. “Alright.” She leaned forward and pecked his lips. “If it’ll make you happy, I’m sure we can scrape up enough money.” He’d smiled and kissed her deeply, feeling like the luckiest man alive.

Now, as they prepared for the ceremony, he couldn’t help but fidget in his tux while Maricela fixed her makeup. He didn’t think _he’d_ be here. It had completely flown over his head until he saw him at the hotel bar drinking a beer and looking over papers.

Lance hadn’t seen Keith in years, and he thought he’d gotten over that particular unrequited crush. Still, seeing him there wearing a plain button up and jeans his hair shorter and his features sharper…. Lance couldn’t help but run away before he made a fool of himself.

He had a wife. He was married. He was here with her.

The past was in the past, and that’s where Lance had to keep it. Just like he’d done all these years.

The ceremony had been beautiful. And Lance couldn’t help but feel overwhelming joy for his best friends as they exchanged vows and looked at each other like they were the only people in existence. They hadn’t gone to Lance’s wedding because they hadn’t contacted each other yet. The first time Lance heard from Hunk had been a year into his marriage when he receive a friend request. And even then, communication had been low due to every day life and responsibilities.

Being able to be here for Hunk and Pidge’s wedding made Lance reminisce a lot, and he knew Maricela could tell by the way she kept glancing at him and squeezing his hand.

After the ceremony, everyone began taking pictures outside, and when Lance went to greet them, Pidge immediately engulfed him in a hug and held him tightly. It took him a moment to remember he was here with someone.

“Ah, guys, this is Maricela. My wife. Mari, this is Pidge and Hunk.”

“Hi,” she greeted with a nervous smile. “I’ve heard a lot about you both. Your dress is beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Pidge said with a small smile. “Let’s take a picture!”

Lance nodded and stood beside Pidge while Maricela stood beside Hunk. A few pictures were taken. As Lance congratulated them, someone came up beside him.

“I never thought the next time I’d see you guys would be a wedding,” Keith said. His voice was deeper, and Lance had to keep his unease under control. “Hey, Lance.”

“Hey. I see you lost your mullet.” Keith rolled his eyes, but smiled. “Ah, Keith, this is my wife. Mari, this is Keith, another friend.”

She greeted him nervously and then stepped back. “I’ll be by the car, okay?” He nodded and she scurried away.

Before the awkwardness could be addressed, Hunk said, “Shiro! Hey! Oh man, the whole gang’s back together.”

“Group picture time,” Pidge sing-songed.

Shiro smiled and greeted them, congratulated them, and they posed for more pictures. Lance hadn’t realized how different he’d felt since he last saw his friends. With them surrounding him, with their familiar voices and their warmth, he realized he suddenly felt _safe,_ he felt _comfortable._ There was no tension in his body, no voice in the back of his head telling him to watch out for mentions of the past. They _were_ his past.

Later, at the reception, there was a lot of dancing and drinking and laughter. The group all sat together, regaling tales of things they’d done since they got back, and Lance noticed Maricela was quiet and tense beside him.

About another hour in, she pulled him aside and said, “I think I’m going to get a cab back to the hotel.” He didn’t want to go back, but he also didn’t want to leave his wife alone. “Lance, it’s fine. You have a past with them, I get it. And I don’t know if you’ll ever tell me about that chunk of your life, but… right now you seem happier than I’ve ever seen you. So go, have fun with your friends. It’s okay. Besides the only girl in that group is married now, so….” She smiled and nudged Lance.

He managed a small chuckle and nodded, kissing her cheek. “I love you,” he said.

“Love you too,” she answered. She gave him a tight smile and left.

Lance returned and his friends inquired about his wife, but he told them not to worry. Through the night, the group stayed together to talk and laugh and reminisce. With each drink Lance had, he began to allow himself more and more glances at Keith. By the end of the night, when Hunk and Pidge said their goodbyes and were sent off for their honeymoon, Lance felt his chest grow heavy.

“You okay over there?” Shiro asked him as he got ready to head back to his own hotel room. Keith was swirling his finger inside of the glass of his last drink.

“Yeah,” he sighed. He waved as Shiro walked away, bidding them goodnight with a pat on their shoulders.

Keith looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “You’re lying,” he mumbled.

“Huh?”

Keith’s eyes regarded him suspiciously. “You’re not okay.”

“I just really don’t want to go back yet,” he admitted.

Keith smiled and scoffed. “Well, my night isn’t over. There’s bars all over the place and I’m planning to take advantage of it. You can join me if you want to.”

“That wouldn’t be smart,” he blurted. Keith frowned and raised an eyebrow. “Um. I just…. Mari doesn’t like when I get drunk, so.”

“You already are,” Keith said. He shrugged and stood. “Offer stands until I walk out of this hotel.”

Lance liked to think that he stood up to follow after him because of his drunk state.

Lance ended up following Keith to a nearby bar where they slid into seats at the counter. They ordered drinks and Lance tried not to stare at Keith. He had a wife. But he supposed a bit of simple flirting wouldn’t be bad. So long as he didn’t follow Keith to his hotel room, he wasn’t doing anything bad. It was just reminiscing. Just memories.

“So when’d you get married?” Keith asked.

“A couple years ago. I met her through my parents’ family friends. What about you? Anyone special?”

“Not since about six months ago.” Keith took a gulp from his drink. “I got dumped.” He shrugged and Lance grimaced. Who would be so stupid as to dump Keith? “It’s no big deal.” Keith smiled at him and Lance scooted closer. Keith glanced at his legs then back at the counter. “So where did Mrs. McClain head off to?”

“She went back to the hotel room. She felt out of place, I guess. I never told her about… you know, everything.” Keith’s eyes met his and he raised an eyebrow. “I wanted to leave it in the past. So I never told anyone about what happened and stuff. Just my mom.”

“So there’s just this chunk of your life that’s a total mystery to her? Just this huge blank?” Lance shrugged and nodded. Keith whistled and finished his drink. “Well, I never thought the famous ladies man would settle down, but here we are.” He ordered two shots and slid one over to Lance. “To your marriage. And to Hunk and Pidge.”

Lance clinked their glasses together, but didn’t drink opting instead to watch Keith drink his shot. The way his throat was exposed and his Adam’s apple bobbed. The slight grimace as the burn passed and the smile as it spread through him. Lance belatedly drank his shot and kept his eyes on him. “You trying to get me drunk, Kogane?” he said with a smile.

“You were already drunk,” he pointed out. “Can I ask you something?” he said, his smile fading. Lance nodded, leaned in closer. “Why did you hate me so much before?”

Lance pulled back, caught completely off guard by the question. “Huh?” Keith just looked at him expectantly and Lance suddenly felt dizzy and tired. “I didn’t hate you, Keith. I envied you at first. I wanted to be you. Perfect at everything, not caring what people thought. And then… we got sent up to space and I…. I don’t know.”

Keith hummed and looked away. Lance wanted to pull him back and keep his eyes on him. He wanted to kiss him and tell him that he’d never hated him, but he very nearly loved him. In his brain, he wasn’t married. In his brain, there was only Keith and it was driving him nuts.

“I think that’s enough drinking for me tonight,” Keith mumbled, not looking at him. “I should get back to my room.”

Lance stood, following beside him. “I’ll walk with you.” Keith nodded, but kept his head down. As they reached his room, Lance realized he didn’t want to say goodbye. He didn’t want to have Keith go away again. Keith opened the door and turned to mutter something, but Lance had taken his hand and tugged him away from the door, desperate to keep him. “Wait.”

“What?” he asked, aggravated. “Lance, I wanna go to bed.”

“But….” He couldn’t breathe. He didn’t want to say goodbye. Keith was his what-if and he was back, and if Lance let him go, he would never forgive himself for it. “Don’t. Please.”

“Lance, what…?” He met his eyes and took a shaky breath. “You’re crying.”

“Don’t go.” Keith hesitated. He looked down at their hands and began to pull away. Lance surged forward and took his face in his hands. He pressed their lips together, pressing him against the door. Keith gasped and his hands came up to his chest. Lance was afraid he would push him away, but instead he just gripped the material of his shirt. “Don’t go,” he repeated.

“What are you doing?” Keith gasped, his grip tightening. “Lance, you’re… you don’t like me-”

“I do,” he interrupted. “I’ve liked you since we were teenagers. I let you go, I don’t want to make that mistake again.”

Keith shook his head, but Lance kissed him again. “Lance you’re married,” he reminded him, his breath warm against him own.

The memory of Maricela hit Lance like a train. He shook his head and rested his forehead against Keith’s shoulder. “She doesn’t know me. Not really. I never should have…. I was so lonely, Keith.”

“Do you love her?” Lance stayed quiet, breathing in his scent. “Why did you marry her? Why make a move now?”

“I don’t know, _I don’t know,”_ he growled, pressing closer to Keith. “Please.”

“Please what?” Keith asked. He pushed him back gently. “What do you want from me, Lance? You’re married. You never told me you felt anything aside from complacent friendship. You can’t just get drunk and kiss me after all this time. You have a _wife.”_

“I know!” Lance snapped. “I know, you’ve reminded me enough.” Keith stared at him with narrowed eyes and a quivering lip. “I didn’t know I’d ever see you again. I felt lonely, Keith. She was there and I… I made myself love her. And now you’re here, and….” He sighed and pressed their foreheads together. “I just want to be with _you.”_

Keith’s hand came up to his cheek and his thumb brushed away the trail his tears had made. “Would you choose me over her? You’d leave her for me?”

Lance pressed his lips to Keith’s again. This felt right. It felt real. He was vaguely aware of the door opening, and he felt himself get pulled in. The rest of the world was shut out with the clock of the door, and Lance only cared about Keith’s warmth under his hands, his lips against his own. He kissed him deeply, tongue and lips pressed against each other, giving him everything he never knew he wanted.

Keith’s hands hurried to unbutton Lance’s, shoving it down his shoulders, never leaving his lips. Lance wasn’t sure where this was going, but if he was with Keith, he figured it didn’t matter. He’d wanted Keith for so long, and he had his chance now. Keith’s breaths were low and rushed as Lance found his neck and sucked harshly on the skin there.

Keith discarded his own shirt as Lance let his hands roam his torso, so warm and soft. He felt Keith shiver beneath his touch and kissed him again, swallowing soft moans. He had never wanted someone as badly as he wanted Keith. He wanted to worship him completely, wanted to see his face as he was pushed to the edge and even more. He wanted to see him breathless and wanted to draw out louder moans, wanted to hear his name leave Keith’s lips like a forbidden song.

Lance followed him to the bed, falling over him and pressing his hips forward as Keith’s legs wrapped around him. “Can I touch you?” Lance breathed.

Keith nodded quickly, his hands in Lance’s hair. “Yes, yes, yes,” he gasped.

There in a dimly lit hotel room, the night of their friends’ wedding, after coming down from the drunken bliss, Lance let himself feel everything he’d ignored for years. He had Keith in his arms, had every part of him to touch and explore. And Keith’s hands wandered over his body too, meeting every gasp with a kiss.

Yes, he had been fueled by aging lust, but this, everything he felt as he pushed slowly and deliberately into Keith and wrapped him in his arms, was so much more than that. He’d never felt so right in his life. This was what this was supposed to feel like. This was love.

He could hear it in every dissonant and melodic sound they made against each other, in the silence that engulfed them as they caught their breaths before continuing, in the hushed tone of their, “You okay? Is this okay?” And in every gasp that left Keith’s mouth in the form of “please,” or “more,” or “don’t stop.” He saw it in the frustrated, desperate tears that escaped Keith’s eyes. Tears that Lance kissed and licked off his lips. He felt it in the way Keith wrapped himself around him, opening up to him as vulnerable as ever.

This was everything Lance had been looking for, waiting for.

Keith practically screamed when Lance had finally let him finish. He was warm and shivering and breathless. His chest and face were red and he had an arm over his face like he was embarrassed. Lance pulled it back and leaned in to kiss him and nuzzled into his neck. “Perfection,” he murmured as he pulled him closer.

Keith sighed and ran his hand up Lance’s arm. He looked like he was struggling to stay awake and Lance held him tighter, his forehead pressed against the nape of his neck as he fell asleep.

The next morning, Lance sat up and felt the consequences of his actions the night before. He felt dirty, he felt wrong, he felt…. Guilty. He felt guilty.

Keith was still asleep, the expanse of pale skin sprawled out beside Lance. He shouldn’t have followed him to his room. Why hadn’t Lance tried harder to stay away? Because he didn’t want to. And the alcohol had only given him the courage to stop fighting himself.

He ran his hand over Keith’s forehead, brushing away the strands of hair. Keith sighed and shifted, his eyes opening slowly. “Morning,” he murmured.

“Hey,” Lance answered with a small smile. “You okay?” Keith nodded and stretched, his hand searching for Lance’s. Lance felt the weight of his wedding ring as Keith intertwined his hand with Lance’s left. “Keith?” He sat up, his expression wary as he pulled his hand away. “I want you to know that I meant everything last night. Everything I said and everything we did. I don’t regret it.”

“Okay….” Keith tilted his head. “And?”

Lance gulped and brought his hand up to his lips. “If I could, I would leave her-”

Keith snatched his hand away. “What do you mean ‘if you could’?” he snarled.

He shut his eyes and dropped his head in his hands. “Keith, I can’t just get a divorce. My family, my _culture­-”_

“Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Keith snapped, getting off the bed and finding new clothes from his suitcase to wear, dressing as quickly as possible. “This is the shit you’re going to pull after last night? What, you just wanted to fuck me and move on with your own life?”

“No!” Lance protested. He stood up and walked over to Keith. “Last night was the best night of my life, Keith. But you have to understand, my family would never approve of me getting a divorce, and-”

“Get the fuck out of my room.” He walked away from Lance and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t ever want to see you again.”

“Keith, no, please,” Lance begged. He couldn’t even bother trying to cover himself up, he just needed Keith to understand. “You have to believe me. If I could go back, I would’ve never married her. If I’d known I’d see you again, I would’ve waited for you.”

Keith glared at him, throwing him his clothes. “This isn’t about the past, Lance. It’s what you’re choosing now.” He looked at him, his eyes simmering with hatred. “If I could go back, I would’ve walked away from you. Get the hell out.”

“Keith-”

“ _Go!”_ he shouted. “Go, or I will tell her everything, Lance!” Lance felt his throat close up and he dressed quickly. He tried to reach for Keith, but Keith was already shoving him out and slamming the door shut.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been about two months since the wedding.

Maricela had not stopped mentioning Lance’s drinking excursion putting them in a tight spot economically.

The morning Lance had returned to Maricela, she’d seemed angry with him, demanded to know where he’d been. He was honest and told her he’d spent the night at Keith’s after a lot of drinking. She relaxed and shrugged it off, not knowing or even thinking it a possibility that anything happened between Keith and Lance.

Lance had gone back to work, trudging through the days. Maricela seemed unfazed, not complaining or chiding him as much, but always reminding Lance of that damn night by talking about how tight they were on money still.

He seriously doubted that the drinks he had that night were enough to put them through an economic slump, but he was tired of arguing. Besides, each time she brought that up, all he could think of were Keith’s hushed moans and the look on his face as Lance loved him and then the look on his face the next morning right before slamming a door in his face.

“I don’t understand how you drank so much in one night,” she mumbled as she sorted through bills. “The plane, the hotel, the taxi, the drinks on top of that, look at this credit card de-”

“ _Would you shut the hell up for once, Maricela!”_ Lance shouted, finally breaking. He couldn’t take it. The guilt, the memories, the pain, the constant nagging and blame. “I get it! I fucking get it! I fucked up, alright, whatever! _Chingadamadre,_ what do you want me to do? We’re working, we’re paying it off. Maybe stop getting your fucking nails done every other week and stop buying this organic food bullshit and we would be spending less!” He turned away from her, going to their room and into their bathroom to take a shower.

He liked cold showers because they woke him up. But at that moment he needed something soothing, something to calm him. He turned the shower on and stood under steaming hot water as if it could wash away his sins. As if it could wash away the memory of Keith and his touches.

He’d never yelled at Maricela before. He’d never spoken to her that way. The weight of that pushed on his shoulders, threatening to make him collapse. He didn’t feel like himself. Though he supposed he never really did around his wife.

She was a façade for him. She was like a screen that he had in front of him, filtering out his life from the chaotic trauma he’d gone through against the pristine life he was supposed to have. The life he’d been expected to live out. Nice wife, small house, good job. It was safe.

Of course it was about time that this mist over his life faded. And it faded because of Keith. Because Lance couldn’t control himself.

When he came out of the shower and got dressed, he found Maricela sitting at the couch, braiding and unbraiding her hair. A _novela_ was playing on the TV but she didn’t seem to be paying it much attention. He sat beside her and sighed.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”

“You’ve been different since we went to that wedding.” She looked at him, her eyes glassy but her face resolute. “I’ve never complained before…. Not knowing about how you met them or where they went. I never pushed when you didn’t want to talk about your life when you were seventeen. It confused me, even scared me. But I was fine with it.” She titled her head and Lance kept his eyes on her, tired and guilty. “Then you see those friends from and you come home… distant and angry. Why?”

Lance sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s just complicated. It’s something I don’t want to remember, so I don’t talk about it. It’s like… PTSD. That’s all. But I’ll be okay. I’ll call my mom and set up an appointment with the psychiatrist I was seeing before. I’ll be fine.”

Seeming to resign, knowing Lance wasn’t going to give in and tell her what he’d gone through, she nodded and looked away. Lance leaned forward and kissed her cheek before getting up and finding his phone.

**

After about a week, Lance ended up seeing his psychiatrist again. He caught her up on everything, the wedding, the one night stand, the effect it was having on his memories and his home life. He didn’t hold anything back, too exhausted to feel more guilty than he already did.

He hadn’t expected his psychiatrist to suggest he fix things with Keith. She’d said they needed proper closure now that they had both been able to step back from the overwhelming emotions that had hit them right away. And she’d put him on anti-depressants and low dosed blood pressure meds for the PTSD affecting his sleep and temper.

That’s what led to Lance staring at his phone screen, cursor blinking at him as he tried to figure out what to type. He had a chat bubble up, having found Keith’s profile through the comments he left on Hunk and Pidge’s honeymoon pictures. He felt nauseous and everything he tried to type sounded stupid. He kept deleting the pixelated letters before they could form a full word.

Finally, he took a breath and let his fingers type without him thinking through it.

_Hey, Keith. I know you don’t want to know anything about me, but I can’t let myself leave things the way we did. I want to apologize and maybe explain if you’d let me. We went through so much together and I don’t want this to erase all of that. If you’re okay with it, I’d really like a chance to talk about what happened._

And send. There. It was over. It was fucking over. Lance felt like he’d run a marathon, his heart bursting through his chest. He went to eat dinner and cleaned the dishes while Maricela showered and got ready for bed. She always went into work earlier than Lance and came home later.

When he went to brush his teeth, his heart nearly stopped when he saw the chat head with a red circle at the corner, indicating a response.

_I’d rather meet in person. I have a job meeting in Orlando this weekend._

Orlando. Where Lance lived.

_Want to meet for lunch Saturday?_

_I’m free by 2_

Lance took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. That was… easier than he anticipated. Now it was a matter of figuring out what to say.

**

Saturday came fast. Maricela was at work and Lance was trying to remind himself this wasn’t a date. It was him trying to fix his mistake, and he was going over his explanation again in his head, reiterating his apology.

He drove to the restaurant they’d agreed on, a place that served delicious food called _Azteca de Oro._ He waited in his car until Keith let him know he was there and they met just outside the door.

He was so breathtakingly beautiful and Lance sort of hated the ring on his finger at the moment. But then he shut his eyes, regained his composure and offered Keith a smile. “Hey. It’s good to see you.”

Keith stared at him and clenched his jaw, not really acknowledging him with more than a look. Sighing, Lance followed him inside and they were seated. Keith stared at the menu, stoic faced and silent.

“How’ve you been?”

“Fuck the formalities, Lance,” he snapped. “You said you had explanations and apologies.”

Lance fidgeted in his seat as the group of people sitting at a nearby table glanced at them. He cleared his throat and tapped his fingers on the table. “I do. Sort of. I just…. No explanation is going to excuse what I did. You were right, I’m married and… I kept pushing. I wasn’t thinking and I hurt you.” Keith rolled his eyes and looked away. “Ever since I saw you, I haven’t….” He sighed and put his head in his hands. “I should’ve said something when we were younger. I fell for you a long time ago, but I was so certain you didn’t feel that way for me. I was terrified of telling you. And then we all just… lost contact. I was trying to forget Voltron and the battles and….”

“What the hell is any of that supposed to mean, Lance?” Keith asked, his voice sharp but low. “What so you have regrets? Okay. That doesn’t explain anything.”

“I’m trying to explain that I _do_ want to be with you. And if I wasn’t married I wouldn’t hold back at all. When we had sex…. Everything just felt right. I was with you and there were no secrets and I want to be with you. It was… real? I don’t know.” Keith had turned bright red, but remained quiet, sipping his soda. “You have to believe me-”

“Have you decided what you’d like to order?” a woman asked with her hair pulled back tightly into a bun, her lips bright red and wearing too much blush.

“I’ll have what he’s getting,” Keith mumbled, sliding the menu over. Lance gave her his order and she nodded and walked away. Keith crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. “What am I supposed to believe, Lance? That you want to be with me? That’s hard to do when you’re still with her. You said you’d….” He scoffed and shook his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m not brave enough, Keith. But this is… a cultural and religious thing. Divorces are… they’re the biggest scandals in my family. You get married, you’re in it for the long haul no matter how unhappy you get. You pull through it. If I left her, for another guy especially…. My family would never talk to me again.”

Keith grit his teeth and looked away, angry and frustrated. “What do you want me to do, Lance? Am I just supposed to forget what we did and move on and pretend like I’m okay with us just being friends?” Lance shut his eyes, grimacing. “I can’t just forget you. That’s not how it works.”

“I don’t want that,” Lance insisted. “I don’t want years of friendship and near death experiences to go out the window just because I couldn’t keep it in my pants.”

“I wasn’t really helping you keep it there, was I?”

Lance looked at him, a sad smile on Keith’s face. “You tried more than I did.” He reached over and took his hand. “Please don’t hate me, Keith. I know that’s a lot to ask after everything, but please don’t give up on me.”

“I could never,” he said. He pulled his hand free and smiled. “Why don’t we start over?”

**

He was a bad person. That was all it really came down to, and Lance knew it. There was no way around it. No excuse decent enough to his actions. He was weak and he was pathetic and he was a bad person. A bad husband.

It had started innocently enough. After the day they went for lunch, things with Keith became relatively okay. Keith’s job had temporarily located him in Tampa, just an hour and a half away for the last two weeks. They hadn’t known how long it would last, so when Keith told him he’d have to leave by the coming weekend to Illinois, Lance felt desperate.

And the next thing he knew he was pressing Keith up against a wall, kissing him fervidly.

“This is wrong,” Keith gasped between the kiss.

“Very wrong.” Lance tugged him closer and let his hands cup his face.

“Lance we fucked this up before, we shouldn’t do it again,” he breathed. Lance shook his head and pressed his forehead against Keith’s. “Lance, I can’t do this again.”

“I don’t want you to go,” he cried, pressing his lips against Keith’s, but not quite kissing him. “I hate staying away from you.”

Keith pushed him away then pinned him where he had been a few seconds ago, gripping his chin between his fingers. “And what are we supposed to do about that, Lance? You won’t leave her.” He looked Lance in the eyes and took his hand, lifting it up to show the gold band around his finger. “This is what’s keeping you away from me.”

Lance yanked his hand away and pulled Keith closer, slipping his thigh between Keith’s legs and hiking it up, brushing up against him so his eyes fluttered shut. “Come on, Keith. Don’t you want this as much as I do?”

“What about her?” he choked, rutting his hips up against Lance’s thigh.

“She doesn’t know me like you do. She doesn’t even know I like guys. She doesn’t know anything, and she never has to.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel special?” he spat, already yanking at Lance’s shirt.

Lance took his shirt off and kissed Keith aggressively, biting his lip harshly and pulling him in closer. “If anyone finds out, half my life goes to shit. And yet here I am.”

Keith shoved him hard against the wall and unbuckled his pants. “What a fucking honor,” he muttered, kissing him back. He leaned down, kissing down his chest until he was on his knees and yanking down Lance’s jeans. “Tell me how badly you want me,” he commanded, palming him through his boxers.

Lance looked down and bit his lip, reaching for Keith’s face. “I want you more than anything. Fuck, I want you so bad, Keith it hurts.”

“You like my touch that much?” he asked with a smirk.

Lance groaned and pulled him back up, much to Keith’s confusion. “It’s not just your touch. It’s your everything. Your voice. Your eyes. The way you look at me when you smile.”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Lance. “But?”

Lance shook his head and kissed him. “But nothing. I love you and everything about you. I don’t want to hold back anymore.”

Keith took a sharp breath and kissed Lance, pulling him back with him until they reached the bed and Lance was biting him all over, pulling his pants away. Keith floundered into a drawer and gave him lube and a condom. Lance coated his fingers and slowly opened Keith up, kissing him and swallowing up all of his moans and relishing the way Keith panted his name like a personal mantra.

“Lance, fuck, I missed your touch. I need you, I need you more than you know.”

“I’m here, baby. I’m here.” Lance crouched over him, pushing his hair away, smiling as he recalled the way he used to wear it when they were teens. He could have been doing this for years. He could have been with Keith from the start. “Can I?” Keith smirked and pushed Lance onto his back, clambering over him. “Oh, fuck,” Lance breathed as Keith settled over him.

He reached behind him, lining Lance up before sinking down on him. Keith crouched forward and panted for breath as was filled up by Lance again after so long. “Touch me,” he breathed, reaching for Lance’s hands.

Lance pulled himself up, not quite sitting, not quite laying down. He ran his hands up Keith’s body, pressing kisses to his chest and his neck as Keith rocked against him. “Don’t leave, baby. Don’t go.”

“Lance,” he sighed. He pushed his hands into his hair and forced Lance’s face up to him. “Fuck, don’t look at me like that.”

“Then don’t go,” he insisted.

“Come with me.”

“You want me to go with you?” Keith nodded. “Oh, my love.” Lance held him tighter, feeling the movement of his muscles as he moved slowly up and down, the perfect amount of heat and tightness, the perfect rhythm to cause electric jolts through Lance’s body while letting him relish every part of Keith.

“H-harder, Lance,” he gasped against his ear. Lance pushed up, feeling heat course through him at the sound of Keith’s gasp for air with each upward thrust he made, loving the way his arms felt around him as they clung to him.

“I love you,” he breathed into his mouth before kissing him. “I’ve always loved you.”

“Lance, please,” Keith cried, burrowing his face in his neck. “Don’t say things like that.”

Lance pulled back and held his face gently in his hands. Keith’s eyes were brimming with tears, his face flushed from Lance’s thrusts and his own rocking hips. “Why? Why don’t you want me to tell you?” he murmured.

Keith’s tears fell slowly down his cheeks, caught in Lance’s fingers. “Because I know you’re going back to her tonight.”

Lance shook his head and shushed him. “No, no, I’m here. I’m here with you right now.”

Keith nodded and pulled back. “Yeah, you are. And I’m gonna make sure you remember what it feels like with me.” He slammed his hips down and held himself on his shoulders, setting a rapid pace that left Lance winded and dizzy.

He pushed his hips up against him faster, meeting the haphazard pace and moaning into the space of the small temporary apartment.

“Fuck, fuck, yeah, Lance right there, oh God, yes, _yes,”_ Keith moaned.

Lance rocked his hips up faster and felt his muscles tense as Keith urged him on. He felt his release wash over him like a wave of fire. Keith clenched and unclenched around him, milking him and never ceasing his hips, making Lance shiver with oversensitivity. “Come on, baby, come for me.”

Keith kept rocking, his legs shaking with the effort it took to lift himself. He took Lance’s hand and placed it around himself. “Touch me.”

Lance pumped his hand, spreading the precome with his thumb, whining as Keith kept skewering himself. He latched onto Keith’s neck and groaned when he felt the spurts of come between them as Keith finally reached his orgasm. Keith let his weight fall on Lance. Lance cradled him and laid him gently on the bed, wrapping them both in the covers. He wiped away the mess and held him tight, pressing kisses to his forehead.

“Do you wanna know something?” Keith whispered. Lance hummed, taking his hand and interlocking their fingers. “When I got the wedding invitation, I kept thinking about how I might see you. I knew they’d invite you. You were their best friend.” Keith opened his eyes, sighing as Lance ran his free hand through his hair. “I kept thinking about it…. And my boyfriend at the time noticed. I just kept thinking about what I’d do when I saw you. I wondered how different you’d be. I was so infatuated with the idea of you…. And he hated it. He left. But I didn’t care.” Lance looked at him fondly, recalling how Keith had mentioned a break up. Now that he thought of it, he’d gotten the invitation about six months prior to the wedding too. “And then I saw you,” Keith breathed sleepily, keeping his violet eyes on Lance. “And you introduced her.”

Lance furrowed his eyebrows and pressed a kiss to Keith’s bare shoulder. “When I saw you for the first time, you were at the hotel bar. It caught me by surprise and I couldn’t… think. I just wanted to touch you, to kiss you.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything before? When we reached earth? When we said our goodbyes? You could’ve stayed with me.”

“I was scared,” Lance murmured. “I never thought you’d feel the same.”

Keith sighed and tangled their legs together. “Why her? Why’d you marry her?”

Lance bit his lip and sighed.

\--

He’d quit therapy for about a year now. He had a steady job, and the nightmares had stopped. He missed his friends, but he also wanted to leave all of it in the past and never bring it up again. He was tired and just wanted to live his life. And he was so tired of being lonely.

His father’s job was having a cookout and it was going to be the first big party Lance would be at in a long time. He used to love big parties and get togethers. But after Voltron, he found it hard to be in them, he found it hard to pretend he was okay and to evade questions about what had happened for those five years he’d disappeared. But now after a year and a half of therapy and a year without, he was ready to try again. And maybe not find himself curled into a ball in a bathroom.

As the family and friends and coworkers trickled in, filling the backyard, Lance found himself feeling more like himself than he had before.

“ _Mi tesorito,”_ his mama said. “How are you feeling?”

“ _Bien_ , Mama. Don’t worry.”

“That’s good,” she said. “I just want you to be happy.” Lance smiled and kissed her cheek. “Go now, greet the guests. Keep your manners.”

“I know, Mami,” Lance said with a laugh. He went to go help carry some food before going to greet the newest guests that had arrived.

“ _M’ijo,_ come here,” his father said, waving him over. “This is my coworker, Francisco. Francisco, this is my oldest, Lance. He’s the hardest working young man I know.”

Lance spent a while talking about work ethic as was the usual when it came to talking to his father’s coworkers. Then a young woman came up to Francisco.

“ _Papa, tu medicina.”_ Francisco laughed and hugged her tightly.

“Oh, what would I do without you? Sebastian, Lance, this is my daughter. Mari, this is Sebastian and his son Lance.”

“Hi,” she greeted with a smile, shaking their hands and kissing their cheeks politely. Lance felt his cheeks heat up as he looked at her.

Her hair was loose, a dark brown and falling in a sleep waterfall down her back. Her eyes were large and a dark brown, and she had a touch of eyeliner. Her lips were full and her smile was sweet. She had a dimple and her skin darkened more as she seemed flustered. She was in a nice flowy shirt and dark jeans, so simple, but Lance had been captivated.

“Hi,” he responded lamely.

“Lance, get the young lady a drink,” his father said, elbowing him.

“Oh yes, of course, I- um. What would you like?” he asked.

“Oh, a soda is fine,” she said, smiling nervously.

After that, Lance found himself drawn to her. He danced with her and made her laugh, and ignored the little smirks his parents gave him. He got her number, and they talked often. Lance finally took her on a date. He was a perfect gentleman, and he opened doors for her, pulled her chair out for her, held her purse, let her use his tennis shoes when she got tired of her heels. He walked her to her door and gave her a sweet, innocent kiss before she left.

And then there were more dates. And by the fourth, they were kissing whenever they could. They were dating by the fifth. They slept together by the seventh. He learned a lot about her and her past. He told her about his childhood, avoided questions about him in the ages of 17-22, only indulging in memories of friends.

After a few months, Lance was asking her father and mother’s blessing to marry her. A month later in March, he was proposing in his backyard where they met and she said yes. They were married by November. And it was good at first. He loved her. He truly thought he loved her. But the honeymoon phase ended and mortgages and bills came. They couldn’t spend money on fun dates anymore. Maricela would be tired and cranky from work, and it wasn’t always as fun and playful as it used to be.

But Lance had married her. She was his family now. He wouldn’t be able to get out of that marriage without causing a huge drama with his family. Even if he wasn’t totally sure he loved her anymore.

\--

“Wouldn’t they understand?” Keith whispered, his jaw tense and his eyes empty.

“Maybe. But it would still be a sin to them. We were married by the church. Till death do us part. Divorce is common now, I know that. But to be part of it… to her family and to mine would….” Lance shook his head and sighed. “Things would’ve been complicated either way. If I’d brought you home. It would’ve taken so long for them to accept. They might not have.”

Keith huffed and sat up. “I’m sorry to inconvenience you,” he muttered, moving to get off the bed.

Lance grabbed his arm and stopped him. “Hey, no I didn’t- Keith don’t go.”

“It’s my apartment, I’m not going anywhere,” he snapped.

Lance pulled him back gently and wrapped him up in his arms. “You know what I meant,” he whispered. “I’m just…. I love you. The things I feel with you, I know I could never feel with anyone else. Just give me a little time to figure out how to ease this onto everyone.”

“Ease… this?” Keith repeated. Lance bit his lip and kissed his cheek. “Lance, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying… I’m damned either way. I’m breaking my vows as it is, with you. Or I divorce her and stay with you. The only thing that wouldn’t cause a problem would be to stop seeing you, but I told you I’m not letting you go again.” Keith stared at him with wide eyes. “Just give me time, okay?”

Keith rolled onto him and kissed him carefully. “I love you,” he whispered. Lance smiled and trailed his hands up his body, taking each gentle kiss with a smile.

A few hours later, Lance was saying goodbye at the door, promising to come visit again within the week. Keith kept grumbling between kisses about feeling like _“the other woman.”_

“That’s not true,” Lance laughed, tugging his shirt playfully. “You’re my only guy. And I love you. I’ll text you when I make it to the house.”

“Drive carefully,” Keith said with a sigh, kissing him again before opening the door. “Also, if we end up together, we’re not living in Florida. This place has me on edge all the time.”

“ _When_ we end up together, we’re going wherever you want. Text me, okay?” Keith nodded, waving as Lance went to his car. Lance felt his heart elate with the hope he had for a future with Keith.

\--

When Lance got home, he was surprised not to be greeted by his wife. There were a few papers on the dinner table, probably more bills. He went to get a glass of water and hesitated when he saw the papers. He froze when he saw that they were medical papers. He looked them over, frowning. He had no idea anything was wrong with his wife.

He felt the air leave his body when he processed the words.

_Family planning clinic._

_Menstrual history. Contraceptive history. Pregnancy history._

_Staff comments: Congrats, Mommy! We’ll see you next month!_

Lance sat shakily in a chair, switching to the next paper. A checkup. For three months. Three months?

“You’re home.”

Lance gasped and looked over his shoulder. “Maricela. What… what are these?”

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him, but they felt like cement blocks around him. “I wanted to surprise you. I didn’t think you’d get home yet.” She pulled him up and placed his hands at her stomach, where he could feel a small bulge that was too hard to just be love handles. “You’re gonna be a daddy, Lance,” she said with a smile. “We’re pregnant.” She leaned forward and kissed him.

Lance… was going to be a father. As it settled in his brain, he felt his phone buzz with a message.


End file.
